Inner Eye

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Imagine a large disembodied eye with a sinister droopy lid looming over you, watching your every move as you climb a stone staircase winding through dark shadows. The dome skylight above the castle’s central hall, which was designed to bring brightness into the house, used to make me shiver with its all- seeing presence. No more.

First, we cleared away the debris of years of neglect and replaced the panes of glass that were broken. This chased away the darkness and also took care of the ghostly drafts of cold air that curved up the back of our legs. Next, we removed the blue tarp that covered the holes. Et voilà, an eye lift without the surgery.

Intuitively I’ve always known that this restoration project was going to be an awakening – a practice in caring and making a difference, hence the subtitle of this blog. Throughout the years, I’ve noticed how I keep moving from the literal to the metaphorical and back again. I shift from cleaning physical junk around me to sorting out my more intangible internal messes. Sometimes it’s a struggle. At other times, it’s more of a dance. But without failure it has love, and it exposes beauty and potential. When I run up and down Lescure’s stairs these days – often still feeling weighed down, frustrated and confused, I continue to be aware of the skylight’s penetrating gaze. But I believe it looks down softer at me now, as if the estate’s inner eye has opened up and guides me in my transformation from mess to beauty, regardless of what may unfold.


  1. Great phrase: “from mess to beauty” keep going XX

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